Back-to-School Tips
It is normal for all human beings to struggle when returning to our daily expectations after an extended break. Even as adults, it can be difficult to return to work after having time off (for vacation, holiday breaks, or even being off due to illness). For kids returning to school after summer break, a mixture of emotions my be present. Although excitement is commonly described by kids, they may also be feeling nervous, anxious, or even sad, as they have the enjoyment of summer come to an end. Parents may also be experiencing their own feelings of anxiety and stress as they anticipate their child's emotions (it doesn't feel good to have to leave a crying child at drop-off). And both children and parents struggle with the uncertainty that often accompanies new school years. Perhaps it is a transition year (kindergarten, high school) or a move to a new school. Perhaps the child is uncertain if they will be in the same class as their friends. Some families aren't even aware of who their child's teacher will be, until the first day of school.
It is important for parents to offer their child support while managing their own stress.
Meeting your own needs
Back-to-school requires practices such as reinstating daily routines, organizing before and after school arrangements, and carving out time for homework. This time of the year also tends to align with a return to sports and other after-school extra-curriculars. Be realistic about what you are taking-on during this time of transition. Validate that it will be a busy and challenging time for yourself and your family and let yourself off the hook for less important expectations. Self-compassion can go a long way during times of transition.
Be an Active-Listener
Listening for, and to, your child's emotions will allow opportunities for support. Although it can be our reflex to try to rid your child of unpleasant emotions ("there's no need to worry", "you'll be fine", etc.), the feelings that they are experiencing are normal and warrant validation. Children are not interested in hearing about how they will be fine. They want to be permitted to stay with the emotion they are experiencing and to have their parent join them in their experience. Listening and validating as the first step will leave the child more open-minded for you to bring confidence into the conversation. Show that you are confident in their ability to navigate this time of transition and remind them of times that they have demonstrated confidence and conquered hard situations before.
Preparation
Feeling prepared can act as an antidote for anxiety. Provide your child with as much information as is appropriate for how back-to-school will look. Ask open-ended questions in order to get a better idea of what you can help them with ("what is the part that has you worried the most?" vs. "are you worried because you are in Ms. _____ class this year?"). The latter could result in your child adopting the worry that you brought up, assuming that they have a reason to worry if you suggested so. Open-ended questions can also create the opportunity for a problem to be solved. Perhaps going to the school ahead of time would be an option where the child can get acclimated, meet their teacher, etc.
Having your child struggle with transitions, especially transitions that they have to face without you, can evoke stress and anxiety for parents. In the absence of being there for them physically, there are still a number of tools that a parent can implement to support their child. Most back-to-school jitters subside after the first week or two. If your child's symptoms of anxiety persist beyond this or seem more intense than what is reasonable for the situation, adding the additional support of counselling may be beneficial.